Therapy for Perfectionism, Anxiety, & Burnout
The Hidden Cost of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is praised — especially among high-achievers, caregivers, professionals, and people who have learned that their worth is tied to performance and how they impacts others. On the surface, perfectionism can look like ambition, responsibility, or success. Underneath it is chronic anxiety, self-criticism, burnout, relationship strain, and a deep fear of not being “enough” or a constant need to do “right.”
Many people struggling with perfectionism feel trapped in cycles of overthinking, people-pleasing, emotional exhaustion, and never fully being able to rest or feel satisfied with themselves.
What Does Perfectionism Look Like in Everyday Life?
Perfectionism doesn't always look like striving for perfect results. It can show up in many areas of life, including:
High-achievement and work: Feeling driven to constantly accomplish more, struggling to delegate, or experiencing burnout despite professional success.
Relationships and people-pleasing: Feeling responsible for other people's emotions, difficulty setting boundaries, or fearing disappointment and rejection.
Anxiety and overthinking: Replaying conversations, second-guessing decisions, anticipating mistakes, or feeling unable to relax.
Self-esteem and body image: Holding yourself to unrealistic standards, struggling with self-criticism, or feeling that your worth depends on how you look or perform.
Emotional avoidance and control: Difficulty tolerating uncertainty, vulnerability, mistakes, or feelings that seem outside your control.
Perfectionism often develops as a way of managing deeper fears, expectations, or relational experiences. Therapy can help you understand what these patterns have protected you from, what they cost you, and how to begin relating to yourself differently.
Dr. Shelby Kittinger
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
In my work, I specialize in helping patients explore the deeper roots of perfectionism — including early relational experiences, attachment patterns, trauma, and internalized expectations — so they can begin building a more compassionate and sustainable relationship with themselves and others.
Through psychodynamic therapy, we work to understand not only the behaviors of perfectionism, but also the underlying fears, self-criticism, shame, and protective patterns that keep it in place. Rather than focusing solely on symptoms, psychodynamic therapy helps uncover the emotional and relational dynamics that often drive the need to constantly achieve, perform, or “get it right.” By exploring the deeper experiences that shaped these patterns, therapy can create space for greater freedom, fulfillment, and self-worth that is not solely dependent on productivity or achievement.
Frequently Asked Questions about Perfectionism
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Perfectionism is a pattern of thinking and behaving characterized by setting excessively high, often unrealistic standards for yourself and tying your sense of self-worth to your ability to meet them. Rather than being driven by a desire for growth or achievement, perfectionism is often rooted in anxiety, fear of failure, and the belief that mistakes or shortcomings reflect something fundamentally inadequate about you.
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Yes. Therapy can help you understand the underlying beliefs, fears, and experiences that contribute to perfectionism. Through psychodynamic therapy, you can explore the emotional and relational patterns behind your need to achieve, please others, or maintain control.
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Different therapeutic approaches can help with perfectionism. Psychodynamic therapy explores the underlying emotional experiences, relationship patterns, and internal expectations that contribute to perfectionistic behaviors, rather than focusing exclusively on changing those behaviors.
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Perfectionism and anxiety often reinforce one another. Fear of making mistakes, disappointing others, or not meeting expectations can contribute to chronic worry, overthinking, and difficulty relaxing.
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Yes. Dr. Shelby Kittinger provides telehealth psychotherapy for adults throughout California, as well as Oregon and Washington, where she is licensed to practice.