Therapy for
Religious Trauma
What is Religious Trauma?
Religious trauma refers to the psychological and emotional distress that can develop from harmful or coercive religious experiences, particularly within high-control religious environments. It can result from spiritual abuse, manipulation, fear-based teachings, rigid belief systems, purity culture, and the use of shame or guilt to influence behavior. Religious trauma can also develop through spiritual bypassing, when religious beliefs or practices are used to dismiss, minimize, or avoid difficult emotions and psychological pain.
For many individuals, these experiences can have lasting effects on identity, self-worth, relationships, sexuality, and the ability to trust themselves. Religious trauma does not necessarily mean someone has lost their faith or wants to leave their religion. It can also involve navigating the complicated emotional and relational consequences of questioning, deconstructing, or separating from a religious community.
Therapy can provide space to process these experiences, understand their lasting impact, and develop a relationship with yourself that is grounded in autonomy, self-trust, and compassion.
Common Signs of Religious Trauma
Religious trauma can affect how you think, feel, and relate to yourself and others.
You might notice:
Identity, Relationships & Social Impact
Shame around sexuality and sexual expression
Internalized homophobia, transphobia, or misogyny
Difficulty connecting with others or feeling a sense of belonging
Feeling “behind” in life or out of place outside religious spaces
Thought Patterns & Beliefs
Difficulty trusting yourself or making decisions without external validation
Highly critical self-talk
Constant fear of punishment or of doing something wrong
Black-and-white thinking, perfectionism, or rigid beliefs
Emotional & Internal Experience
Avoidance or feeling as though you have to hide & change your feelings
Guilt or shame around basic needs, desires, or boundaries
Disconnection from your body
Existential dread
What Can Religious Trauma Therapy Help With?
Spiritual Abuse: Healing from manipulation, coercion, shame, and the misuse of religious authority.
Religious Deconstruction: Navigating questions about faith, identity, belonging, and personal values when reconsidering or leaving a religious tradition.
High-Control Religious Environments: Processing the effects of rigid belief systems, purity culture, fear-based teachings, and environments that discourage autonomy.
Religious Trauma and Sexuality: Exploring sexual shame, internalized beliefs, identity conflicts, and the impact of religious teachings on intimacy and relationships.
Religious Trauma and Relationships: Working through family estrangement, attachment difficulties, relationship patterns, and the loss of community.
Religious Trauma and Self-Worth: Addressing perfectionism, chronic guilt, shame, anxiety, and difficulty trusting your own judgment.
Meet
Dr. Shelby Kittinger
Licensed Psychologist
Religious Trauma Specialist
I’m Dr. Shelby Kittinger, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in religious trauma, spiritual abuse, and the lasting psychological effects of high-control religious environments. I hold a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola University, where my doctoral research explored the relationship between religion and body image.
My clinical work is grounded in psychodynamic and relational approaches, with particular attention to how early experiences, attachment relationships, and deeply ingrained belief systems shape our sense of identity, self-worth, and relationships. I have extensive experience working with individuals navigating trauma, anxiety, shame, perfectionism, and relational difficulties, including the complex emotional experiences that can emerge when questioning or leaving a religious community.
In addition to my clinical practice, I provide professional consultation and training related to religious trauma and its impact on psychological well-being and relationships. I bring both clinical and academic perspectives to this work, recognizing that religious trauma is not simply about changing beliefs, but often involves untangling years of conditioning, relational experiences, and expectations that have shaped how a person understands themselves and the world.
I provide online psychotherapy to adults throughout California, Oregon, and Washington. My approach is compassionate and challenging, offering a space to explore difficult experiences, develop greater self-understanding, and build a more authentic relationship with yourself, your values, and your relationships.
Frequently Asked Questions About Religious Trauma Therapy
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Religious trauma refers to the psychological and emotional distress that can develop from harmful religious experiences, including spiritual abuse, high-control religious environments, fear-based teachings, shame, and coercive belief systems. These experiences can affect a person's identity, self-worth, relationships, sexuality, and ability to trust themselves, sometimes long after leaving a religious community.
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Religious trauma can show up in many ways, including chronic guilt, shame, anxiety, perfectionism, difficulty setting boundaries, constant fear of punishment, or feeling disconnected from your identity.
You may struggle with trusting your own judgment, navigating relationships, or feeling safe questioning beliefs you were taught. You do not have to identify as traumatized or have left your religion for your experiences to be worth exploring in therapy.
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Religious trauma describes the lasting psychological and emotional effects of harmful religious experiences, while spiritual abuse refers to the misuse of religious beliefs, authority, or spiritual practices to manipulate, control, shame, or harm another person.
Spiritual abuse can contribute to religious trauma, but religious trauma can also develop through prolonged exposure to fear-based teachings, rigid expectations, or high-control religious environments without one identifiable abusive incident.
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Yes. Therapy can help you process the emotional, psychological, and relational effects of leaving a high-control religious environment. This may include navigating identity changes, grief over lost relationships or community, internalized shame, fear, and regaining a trust in yourself. Religious trauma therapy can also help you develop a stronger sense of autonomy and explore who you are outside of the expectations and belief systems that once shaped your life.
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Absolutely. Religious trauma therapy does not require you to abandon your faith, spirituality, or religious identity. Therapy can provide space to explore your relationship with religion, examine harmful experiences, and distinguish your personal beliefs and values from messages rooted in fear, shame, or coercion. The goal is not to determine what you should believe, but to help you develop a relationship with faith and spirituality that feels authentic and self-directed.
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Psychodynamic therapy helps you explore how early religious experiences, relationships, and deeply ingrained beliefs continue to influence your emotions, identity, and relationships today. Together, we examine patterns involving shame, perfectionism, guilt, attachment, and self-worth, including how these patterns may have developed within your religious environment. Through a consistent therapeutic relationship, you can develop greater self-understanding, strengthen self-trust, and work toward a more integrated sense of identity.